


don’t be scared (now don’t cry)

by jaxial



Series: love is a song (i’ll sing it to you) [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: #CoupleGoals, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, idk man i love markhyuck, insecure mark poor bby, just fluff pls, sassy!hyuck, soft hours, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 21:56:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20089396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaxial/pseuds/jaxial
Summary: mark is moonshine and echoes; donghyuck is sunshine and nectar.its ruin, repair and repeat.





	don’t be scared (now don’t cry)

**Author's Note:**

> ha i’m addicted to super short passages yeehaw  
honestly this is such a mess what am i even doing aksjensjsb
> 
> title from seventeen's [hug](https://youtu.be/j-3Df1X6F_I)

broken things have always held some measure of favour in his heart. mark thinks that broken things hold a certain allure; a dark charm that draws him in deeper with every glance.

he guesses that explains his terrifying love of seeing donghyuck cry. donghyuck is beautiful even when he’s a wreck— saline dripping down porcelain cheeks and eyes bloodshot. mark loves it when donghyuck sits in his lap and lets mark tug him into his chest, with glittering tears poised to fall with a touch of mark’s fingers.

sadistic, mark thinks. that’s what he is; what both of them are. utterly sadistic and completely mad.

there are lines though; mark isn’t allowed to speak about donghyuck’s past, nor is donghyuck allowed to speak of mark’s family. they’re two broken souls hoping to fix each other, and yet all they did was merging two souls into one. mark can’t breathe when donghyuck is more than a room away, and it’s suffocation at its finest; mark slowly breaks when donghyuck steps out of his peripheral vision. he can tell it’s the same for donghyuck; every step he takes away is agonising, painful, and those little glances he sends mark’s way are just small signs of his refusal to leave mark. they’re just broken, broken enough to need the other just to survive in the industry and in life itself.

mark watches donghyuck roll over in his sleep, eyelashes fluttering and hands searching. they find mark’s shoulders and pull, until donghyuck is safely ensconced within mark’s embrace. donghyuck’s naked chest burns with heat, near blistering to mark’s icy temperature. mark peppers burning kisses onto donghyuck’s face; his closed eyelids, pert nose and rosy lips . donghyuck’s mouth is swollen and red and reminds him of blood.

mark thinks of darwin, and symbiotic relationships; he thinks of survival of the fittest, and thinks that without donghyuck, he’s nothing. no soul, no heart, no mind. he wonders if donghyuck feels the same, or if donghyuck just thinks that this is just a painful game they play around each other.

_kiss me_, donghyuck murmurs lowly, voice husky from sleep. he slides his arms loosely around mark’s neck and plays with the hair at his nape. he throws a leg over mark’s hip, drawing mark close, close enough to smell donghyuck’s citrus shampoo that brings with it a tang of something spicy, something uniquely donghyuck. mark connects their lips in a fiery dance, content to let donghyuck lead. donghyuck cries softly when mark bites down on his plump bottom lip and flips them so mark’s hovering above donghyuck— silvery hair and golden skin against white sheets with sunlight slanting down in a perfect golden shaft is heaven to mark’s eyes. donghyuck is nude underneath the blankets, red and purple spreading like a garden across his torso. mark slides a hand down to feel donghyuck’s warm, wet heat beckoning to him, and he’s gone.

donghyuck’s melodic moans are more beautiful than his singing— it’s pitched and soft and whiny and everything mark loves about him. mark pulls him tighter against his chest and makes donghyuck feel him, feel how his existence would be so drastically different if mark wasn’t there. mark thinks that donghyuck is so pretty that he stings mark’s eyes so painfully and so, so wonderfully.

when mark is finished with him, donghyuck is putty in mark’s arms, quiet and lovely and staring at him with shiny eyes. he slides hands down the length of mark’s sides and cuddles, comfortably making himself home in the crook of mark’s shoulder. mark holds him as best as he possibly can, ivory skin against liquid sunshine. the sun and the moon, forever chasing each other through the skies in an unending loop.

donghyuck kisses mark like he means it, openmouthed and sloppy, all teeth and tongue. he tastes sweet and forbidden, like an apple from hera’s immortal tree. donghyuck feels and moves like a predator circling its prey, and mark is all too willing to fall into donghyuck’s trap.

_it’s too soon_, mark growls when johnny knocks twice on the door and decides not to peek inside. he tightens his grasp on donghyuck, leaving bruises on donghyuck’s waist in dark splotches that discolours his skin and yet looks breathtaking. donghyuck cries mark’s name in small gasps, _minhyung_ sliding off his tongue like silk.

mark is midnight and stars, solid, unbending and echoing with hollowness; donghyuck is sunshine and nectar, burning and sweet and lonely. they’re different and the same, attracted like magnets and pushing each other away all the same.

lonesome and whole, empty and full; it’s a never ending cycle of love, hurt, anger, repeat. as long as mark loves him, he’ll never stop hurting donghyuck with the fact that they’re not allowed to love. they’re only friends, no more. donghyuck is a forbidden treat far above him, far deserving of an epic love poem miles better than any song mark can write. he deserves prose and verses praising his beauty and brilliance, more than any whispered lines falling from mark’s mouth. donghyuck deserves the sun and stars and yet mark is only a single shadow underneath the supernova that is lee donghyuck. he will never have the world if mark stays.

mark wishes that in a different universe, he and donghyuck are happier, be it with other people or with each other. he glimpses donghyuck’s soft hair moving as donghyuck moves to look up at mark, eyes intense and dark. a smile breaks through, only for mark. donghyuck places a gentle kiss on mark’s jaw then proceeds to move off the bed, sheets sliding off to reveal his streamlined physique mark so adores. mark admires the back view unabashedly as donghyuck digs for a hoodie in mark’s closet. the sweater he puts on barely makes him decent, a large expanse of thigh exposed to mark’s roaming gaze. donghyuck exhales and returns to bed, curling into mark’s welcoming arm. 

_are you okay?_ donghyuck asks, straddling the older and cupping his face. mark grips donghyuck’s hips, looks up, and his heart twists, so violently and achingly that even mark is surprised. it’s like shrapnel ripping through whatever is left of mark after donghyuck left him in pieces— harsh, cold and it’s utter agony; donghyuck shouldn’t be looking at him like mark holds the world in his bare hands.

mark is still the minhyung lee who tumbled into donghyuck’s periphery eight years ago in a scandalous mess, with hair too long for his small face and a dream too big for the world. mark is still the little boy who thought donghyuck was prettier than herin from mickey mouse club and cried for days after the revelation. mark is still the hormonal teenager who writes sappy lyrics and belts them into rhymes in the safety of a recording booth while deleting the clips afterward because they’re not good enough. mark is still lee minhyung, who fell in love with lee donghyuck unapologetically and kisses his sun under the stars and moon, under the cover of night.

_why do you cry, minhyung? _donghyuck rasps, brushing mark’s cheek with the back of his hand and kissing a lone tear away. he lets mark curl his fingers into the yellow sweater he wears and massages mark’s shoulders in an attempt to soothe his coiled muscles; mark tenses and relaxes, breath hiccuping in his throat when donghyuck leans in, no trace of the slick-tongued devil to be seen. this donghyuck is kind and gentle with words, places warm hands on mark’s body to warm his cool exterior. this donghyuck breaks every single shield mark has and wraps comforting blankets around mark’s consciousness and lulls him into cloudy dreams of love and kin and home. mark doesn’t deserve him.

then again, donghyuck deserves a god who would love him the way he should be loved; donghyuck shouldn’t be stuck with plain, useless mark lee. the morning mist that fogs mark’s window fades away to a startling clarity, revealing a sky and a world outside their little bubble. mark swallows.

_i love you_, he says, _more than anything in the world._ he knocks his forehead against donghyuck’s and warmth seeps into his every pore when donghyuck replies, _you’re too much of an idiot to survive without me._ mark takes in the scent of cotton and spice and flame that borders donghyuck’s very existence and lets it merge into his soul, binds the two of them together in ways he can’t even imagine. donghyuck lets him breathe, lets him relocate himself in the maze he’s lost himself within. mark finds inertia and imbalance, but donghyuck is there, holding his hand and walking with him through the limitless grey, brighter than a dying star. mark holds him tight.

there’s a piece of chinese poetry renjun used to recite endlessly, about only receiving reprieve from missing his lover in dreams. sicheng used to chastise the younger for overusing the same phrases in his essays. mark shakes when he understands that even when donghyuck is in his arms like this, he’ll continue to miss him because there is so much they can’t have together, so much that donghyuck will pass up because mark is holding him back from the world. the wild, gorgeous little thing onstage that donghyuck transforms into is what he should be, bold and striking in all his glory.

_you’re okay_, mark, donghyuck whispers. _don’t overthink this, don’t make me leave. you’re enough, you’re always enough._ mark shatters. donghyuck pieces him together, every excruciating shard that pierces his palms and sends blood flowing in vivid shades of red. and donghyuck doesn’t mind when mark kisses his wounds closed and kisses him harder.

it’s a push and pull— mark breaks, and donghyuck fixes him; donghyuck collapses, and mark picks him up. they shove each other down into pits of thorns, climb down after each other, and come back up torn and bloody. mark destroys donghyuck and loves him the same way; donghyuck is carnage and ruin and pulls mark into a tempest of roiling emotion. 

mark pulls them out of bed and to the bathroom, where he strips donghyuck’s sweater and steps into the shower. steaming water soaks them both, a flick of pure feeling having mark spinning donghyuck around to lather his hair in shampoo and suds. he backs donghyuck against the wall and kisses him deeply, until donghyuck can taste him even when he’s gone. donghyuck coats his fingers in soap and cleans mark, tracing mark’s lines and ridges, kissing where he doesn’t touch. mark kneads donghyuck’s temple until the younger is purring, arms slipping around mark’s waist to pull him closer. mark cups his jaw and they stare at each other, slow and soft and intense. there’s unspoken words between them, but they understand each other too well to know that these words won’t even be spoken— it’s too much and too little, what are words compared to the act itself? mark might be a writer who has glorious music streaming from his hands, but right now the only thought in his head is that lee donghyuck is here, and he’s his. he’s mark’s.

mark won’t let him go, but he will, if it’s what makes donghyuck happy. he might not be donghyuck’s world, but mark’s gonna give him the goddamn moon if he wants it. donghyuck snickers and pokes mark’s nose. _silly boy_, he scolds, _you are my world._

_i said that out loud?_ mark scrunches his nose, suppressing a sneeze. donghyuck laughs and tweaks mark’s nose once more before pecking his mouth. _you’re gonna catch a cold, dumbass. _mark cracks a smile and lets donghyuck lead him out of the shower. he dresses and pulls donghyuck into the living room where the members await, with expressions ranging from scandalised to smugness. mark’s eyes are still slightly red, and his nose itches. donghyuck squeezes his palm and tells him everything is fine. it’s just another day. johnny chortles and shoves then into the kitchen where taeyong is waiting with platters of bacon and cheese and a scolding for waking up late. mark exchanges a glance with donghyuck, and when the younger giggles, he does too. 

mark is broken, and so is donghyuck, but they will heal, one step at a time.

..

**Author's Note:**

> this is lame i wanna sob this is loW qUaLitY
> 
> follow me on[ twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/Fallingstarsluv) for updates


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